It’s 11:30am and I’m 30,000 feet above the earth flying my favorite way; all hopped up on Starbucks and the devil’s cabbage with my ipod engaged and my laptop on.
I’m listening to this Puerto Rican singer named Don Omar that I found out about on the internet. I like listening to foreign language music sometimes when I write.
Most of the time I listen to 60’s and 70’s rock, but sometimes I like to have some shit playing that’s in a language that I don’t understand at all so it’s all just cool sounds. I have no idea what their message is.
He might be saying a bunch of stupid shit that I would find annoying if I understood it, but since I can’t it’s just good music and indecipherable mouth noises adding the extra flavor to this THC/caffeine creative speedball I’ve got going on.
The airplane is one of my favorite places to write, and the only time I ever write when I’m not alone. When I’m writing at home it’s usually late at night when I’m by myself and everyone is asleep, but there’s something to be said for the type of inspiration you can get when you’re flying through the clouds, shoulder to shoulder with a bunch of strangers. You can get some extra sparks from their weird energy, and you never know what you’re going to find in the seats around you. Like for instance, there are two teenage Middle Eastern kids in front of me, and they’re watching a video on their laptop of one of those shitty 1980s break dancing movies, and in their native tongue they’re dissecting each move like they’re watching the fucking Zapruder film.
I’m completely distracted by them, because I can’t figure out if I should find this funny or horrifying. I’m wondering if whatever country they’re from didn’t allow dancing until recently, and now maybe all the cool kids in Pakistan are just learning the robot.
That would be kind of funny, but the other possibility is the scary one; that somehow breakin’ and poppin’ has had a resurgence in popularity with the youth of today. That could easily have happened. I’m old and completely out of the loop. There are gigantic bands that have sold out arenas all over the country and I’ve never even heard of them or heard a single one of their songs. I never listen to the radio, and I had never heard of either Chris Brown or Rihanna before he allegedly smacked her around. It’s entirely possible that I missed this too.
Either possibility could be correct, but if the kids of today are looking to repeat the horrible mistakes of 20 years ago I think we’re in real trouble.
That longing to return to the retarded past can only be born of some collective, subconscious, internal desire to try to turn back the clock on humanity and halt our obvious progression towards the inevitable zombie apocalypse of 2012.
The New Kids on the Block are touring again, and according to US weekly they’re doing quite well. I certainly don’t want to start a panic, but it might be a good time to stock up on water and bullets.
I had two amazing gigs this past weekend in Canada. Friday night was at a place called The Element nightclub in Victoria, and Saturday was at the River Rock Casino in Richmond. We had two options to get to Victoria, which is on Vancouver Island; either we could take one of those scary fucking propeller planes that feel like you’re riding inside the bowels of a metal dragonfly, or we could ride the ferry.
I chose the ferry, and it was an excellent call.
It took a little longer to get there, but the scenery was awesome.
I had no idea how big and beautiful Vancouver Island was. According to the guy who drove us to the hotel it’s bigger than England, and is the second largest inhabited island in the world. Now, since I’m on a plane and I have no way of looking that shit up, I have no idea if any of it is true, but I’m just gonna take his word for it and spread the information here like an old school rumor.
Do you remember what it was like back before the internet and google? Back then you would hear something, have no idea whether it was true or not, and you would just repeat this dubious information to your friends, usually all fucked up and poorly recalled.
Ah, the good old days. It was so easy to be full of shit back then.
If I had googled Vancouver Island before my trip I’m sure its magnificent beauty wouldn’t have so pleasantly surprised me. I had no idea what to expect, and I was thinking it was just gonna be some island that we would land on, and on it there would be some town there where we would be performing at. Instead it was this incredibly gorgeous, huge island with these amazing, wooded mountains with snow-covered peaks off in the distance. It was fucking fantastic.
I was glad we took the ferry just so we could enjoy the scenery.
We had a seat by the windows, and right when we approached the island the clouds parted in the sky and bathed the whole scene in majestic light. It was like nature was showing off. Like she was a really sexy bitch in a tight dress, but she couldn’t wait to take off her jacket so you could get a better look and really see what’s up.
The sun illuminated the blue water and made the green forest burst with color and life.
It was pretty fucking dope.
We also met some cool guys on the boat that were headed there to see our show. It was great to see how excited they were about the show, and how much they were looking forward to seeing me.
It was really inspirational, and I told them that I was honored that they were so into it.
The show was at a local nightclub called “The Element,” and the people that came to the show were cool as fuck. If you ever want to see a direct, tangible affect of the grass culture on the behavior of an area’s population, you don’t need to look any further than Vancouver. It’s direct, it’s obvious and it’s discussed there often. Weed is EVERYWHERE in Vancouver, and the people are some of the nicest folks you’ll ever come across. These were some of the friendliest crowds that I’ve ever performed for, and I’ve never had more people handing me joints after the show. It was ridiculous – to the point where I had to refuse most of it since I can’t fly with it, and there was no way I could smoke it all in 2 days without violating the laws of space time. Taking pictures with folks was hilarious; one guy shakes my hand and palms a joint into it, the next guy stuffs a bag full into my jacket pocket, then the next guy drops another joint in there, one after another – to the point where it felt like a gag in a movie.
I didn’t want to waste all of these precious plants, so I talked to one of the local law enforcement officers and he said I could give it to him and he would donate it to a local charity that provides weed to young people that can’t afford it.
True story.
The next night we were at the River Rock Casino in Richmond, and another awesome, sold out show. After the show I hung around to meet folks and take pictures, and was met with the same charitable spirit that I encountered in Victoria. Red-eyed friendly strangers came up to me one after another handing off joints and bags of weed. It was fucking hilarious. I guess that’s just how they roll up there.
A group of guys showed up with Alex Jones t shirts on that they made based on my impression of Alex, where I say something crazy, and then say, “I have the documents!”
I took some pictures because I knew Alex would get a kick out of it.
In closing I would just like to thank everyone that came out to the shows. The response was overwhelming and I really had an amazing time up there. I can’t wait to go back.
Must be nice to get the smoke just handed to ya like that. If I saw you in person, I’d wanna smoke a doob with you too.
Yay! Go Canada!!!
But, you reeeeaaaally should’ve picked up some Old Dutch Ketchup potato chips! They woulda rocked your world!!! Lol.
http://www.twitter.com/popgloss
Nice to hear you had a good time in Vancouver. It really is quite an amazing place if you don’t mind the somewhat dreary weather.
It also seems like you have a suprisingly large number of fans here, I’ve noticed a whole shitload of the board members are from vancouver maybe it has something to do with the whole weed thing.
Anyways just wanna say that I’ve really been enjoying your blogs lately. Keep it up man!
P.S. That shit is badass!
Damn it must really suck when you’re on the plane, high and in the zone writing your ass off. Then some fuck comes up “excuse me” … *listening to music and in da zooone* fucker taps your shoulder “xcuse me can I plx hav ur autograph????
))”. Damn I wouldn’t stand it.
But I know I would try to talk with you if I ever saw you too, so…
Really looking forward to your upcoming show on DVD, since you never come to Sweden
You would probably be raped by the weed hate here anyway.
That *shirt is badass!
sound like Vancouver would be a nice place to live…
Hey Joe. Did you know there’s a city in Colorado named after you? It’s right up the road from Wild Horse. Also, how’s trix? love, Bongo.
I read your blog every day (or every day its new) at work and here I was wondering when you were going to post again and I find out your in my town! Ahh! So sad I missed the show but I will definitely be there for the next one! Glad you enjoyed the ferry – I never get sick of the view from that thing.
Joe, I had the best weekend ive had in years. i want to thank you and let you know how honoured i was to meet you at the river rock. I got a great shot with you that im proud to have. I respect your many messages and views you share with your fans and the world. Everyone that hasn’t yet watched your show is missing out on life completey and should invest in this monstrosity of humor and knowledge. i learned a ton and as days go by i remember more things you talked about, as i had some yummy BC brownies before your show, which made it absolutely epic. i was consumed in your words and hoped i would be able to remember everything but thats not how things work, so ive found your blog, thatll do until you come back to Vancouver.
thanks for inspiring me,
Cohen
ps – you’re not an old man YET dude, you don’t feel old right, and your fans dont feel you’re old either. keep token, we all enjoy listening and learning…
Hey Joe! So glad you enjoyed your time on our beautiful rock! I have to say I havent hear of anyone actually liking the ferry ride! The sceanery is awesome but a its a huge pain in the ass. If you ever make it back here you have to check out the west coast (Tofino/Ucluelet). Those surfing/fishng towns fuckin rock!!!! Love reading your stuff . Keep puffin
PS Old Dutch Ketchup chips are the BOMB!!!
Joe Rogan, it is urgent that you contact me privately as soon as possible. I have some very important information for you.
hmmm..never been to Vancouver, but now I so want to go (a spend a while). Not necessarily the weed thing – more the cool people and nature draw. Some of my prior time in Canada was spent sampling their bizarre potato chip flavors & I can highly recommend the ketchup flavor (Lays or Old Dutch…both a bit different – both good) & the “All Dressed” (everything chips). Thanks for the heads-up, Vancouver’s on “the list”
joe…….is there something going on beneath our eye lids…….?????……your the man….next to me of course……please talk about dimension-so if so be
Joe!….man,,,you fucker! next time you plan on coming to Vancouver,can you please send out a note in ur email blasts!!
I get all these emails about where you are doing shows and are far away from me! than you are close to my town-no email…bro c’mon!!
I’m proud of you. You didn’t puke on the ferry at all.
Love,
Bongo
I’ve spent all day checking out your little webring, im disabled so i can do that… idk how much u make, but u could hire someone to organize… well im thinking u know that… so… umm.. yeah dude your comedy is funny i had no idea, fear factor… that was possibly the longest joke ever.. but u should be more carefull, people took that stuff seriously. im joking man, but like wtf, i watched that show all the time, idk what i was thinking. is this stuff new? i always liked ur commentary on ufc but u have an isolation chamber. that is badass. im just thinking like is it some new evolutionary energy around or have i just pulled my head out of my a**. keep floating man – jt
man… i hope u read this and that is scary… what is wrong with people that they NEED acceptance, accnoledgement, attention, w/e, from other people. i was just thinking of all the people on your forums. im scared, im glad im not famous, and my ‘day of joe’ is over, but dam dude, how are u not scared??
Damn Joe, you surprise me. As an avid representative of the “grass culture” I thought you’d have known abut Van. I used to live in Canada, a job took me to Calgary, and my employer offered to pay for me to apply for permenant residency status in Canada. I took them up on the offer for one reason; so I could retire in Vancouver. The island is an incredible place. In terms of weed, I called it the Humbolt County of Canada, but none of my canuck mates understood the reference. However they did understand that more than half the weed in western Canada came from the island. Even beyond the grass culture its just an awesome place. Attitudes there are incredible. I had a friend whose parents moved there in the 60s after being arranged to be married in India. Her parents raised some of the most progressive women I know including a small business owner on the island and the only female GMAC certified auto machanic.
Go back as often as you can. The ferry ride alone is worth it. The only orignal artwork I own is a painting by a local artist entitled “Storm Brewing” that I immediately recognized as the skyline during sunset of one of the islands one sees from the ferry ride as a storm moves in.
As you can tell I too can’t say enough about the area and I’ve only been there a few times.
Vancouver Island was happy to have you Joe.
Even though some people like to deny it, our pot culture is so vibrant that it’s hard not to see it even if you’re not even involved. Up around the Comox Valley (specifically Cumberland) area I’ve seen fans hand joints to musicians WHILE ON STAGE when they do their thing.
We all hope you come back to make us laugh till it hurts again. I couldn’t make it to the show because of a broken wrist (can’t drive and it was too last minute for anyone else) but there’s no way I’d miss a return trip; your rantings have made me re-evaluate a lot of my viewpoints on life.
Thankyou for all that you do.
Sounds like you should do a stand-up tour throughout BC. Victoria and Vancouver again, then go to Kelowna, Kamloops, Vernon etc. You should even hit up Whistler if you haven’t been yet. All of the places mentioned have some of the most scenic drives you could possibly imagine. And since you’re touring BC, you wouldnt have to worry about having too much weed.
I wish I could have made it to the River Rock show. I got a new place so money’s been tight, but maybe next time. You’re one of the last comedians on my favorites list that I haven’t seen yet. I’m always browsing for new comedians online, if you know of any new talents out there let me know, I’m always down for a laugh.
Enjoy your time in Montreal on the 18th!!!
Joe Rogan try Heli Jet if you go in the summer. You’ll get a nice view of the islands. If you want to see some nice tits go to No. 5 Orange downtown Vancouver across from the police station.
“like they’re watching the fucking Zapruder film.” Is the ghost of Bill Hicks spewing out of you? Sorry I had to say it. No disrespect, I’m a fan.
Joe Rogan can u unban my plentyoftorrent username on the forum? I wasnt planning on stalking you. I thought people would find it funny.
i think a lot of what you say there is spot on, i last did dmt 5 yrs ago and had no real ‘learnings’ in any ’spiritual’ knowledge – that is changing reacently.
I have been using k for 18 years and recently i have been undergoing a massive ‘awakening’ to the notion of self, service to others and awakening of my true self – people may think im going a tad wonky but it making sense, i have had several ‘visitations’ of thoughts that seem to eminate from an entity – the 1st waswhiel i was on k so my rational mind was telling me it was just the trip but i recently had anothe while completely straight so i aggree on your concept of alien life manifesting as thoughts and ideas. for it to happen without the use of any drugs is pretty mind blowing and it comes as i have been trying conciously to intergrate the experiences of my k induced states to my concious being.
anyway, just thought to chip[ my 5 sents worth in.
and btw those iso tanks sound fucking awesome. i gotta try that shit – if my experiences so far have been so amazing i can hardly imagine the effects of the tank!
love and oneness bro!
jon.
further to this i just had an idea come to me while in the shower… no it wasnt to have a wank… – i thought that my self has likely to have been this way inclined all my time here on earth – previous lives stylee- here’s the thought – what if i was ‘possesed’ in previous lives, hunted at salem, experimented on as part of mk ultra having removal of self brutally forced upon my soul – my self being trained in all those lives to experience this with no fear, at a time it is becoming accepted. – it explains the absolute horror i used to have in the k-hole- the horror of mk ultra experiments, of being hounded as a devil by christians – spilling into my mind here and now while in teh hole. all the while my rational reptilian survival instinct, while i am learning of ways to control it, is not leaving me and will not – i still need to be aware of survival lol, busses in the road still would end me!! haha – its ony ideas but they make sense – even rationalising them as just that keeps my feet here in the ‘normality’ of our current global reaity – another required facet of survival in the current climate.
just a thought….
…either that or simply tapping in to the “collective consiousness” iwhich has the experiences i mentioned n its experience. ( a frined just made that comment – thought it wsa worth adding to the mix, makes as much sense even than the past lives therory, if not more)
Caught your show in Nashville last night…FUCKING AMAZING!! You are one funny muther f’er….I never knew that you were a comedian…and now all my friends on facebook know you are too! BRAVO! Can’t wait til you come back!!! AND THE FACT YOU ARE FUCKING HOTT AS HELL MADE IT ALL THE MORE ENJOYABLE!
~
Joe.. Show rocked last night. Hope you enjoyed Nashville, the little bit you were here. You are very humble and quite cool to talk to. Tell that dirty jew he was hilarious and did a great job warming us up. Hopefully you get back to Nashville sometime again..
Andrew
Yeah the show last night in Nashville was awesome. I couldn’t stay after to meet you, which I’m TOTALLY bummed about but hopefully you had a good time and will come back soon.
Joey or anybody else for that matter, about listening to the ambiguity of foreign language music, try thinking of it this way next time. Imagine you are an alien just visiting Earth for the first time, whether from your little space ship are some sort of rip in the dimensions, and your hearing our music for the first time. You probably wouldn’t know what within the sounds coming at you were the voices of living creatures. When you do this every sound even in the most basic pop song becomes compartmentalized from each individual drum hit to every little sound effect or note on a guitar. In this sense it will sound like a massive complex orchestra and would be very fascinating to you I’m sure. I would suggest the aid of smoking the smoke prior to such an adventure.
hey brother, you ever checked out the following documentaries: stronger, better, faster and religilous. I think you would like both of them and I would be interested in your comments
Anyway, I liked you better whenyou were younger. What happened to make you put worms in a blender? Some horrible breakup or something? Can you pinpoint the moment when you lost faith? And what’s all this shit about sandwiches? Also, are you part of my delusion of reality or am I part of yours? Mine always ends happy, just so you know.
Love,
MP
I was taking a look at your tour dates and I nearly fell off my chair when I saw that you were gonna be in MTL on the 17th of April. Dude, I was totally considering flying to CA with a few of my friends to check out your show. Needless to say that when I saw that single little tour date on the 17th in MTL I was super surprised and I jumped on those tickets right away. I am really looking forward to your show, I’m a huge fan of your standup… Thanks for coming to visit us Montrealers.
Joe, I gained an interest in Don Omar after seeing her dance myself. OK, sorry to be off topic, but I didn’t know where else to contact you. I enjoy your informed commentary for UFC. How is it, you being you, that you have never tol Goldberg how stupid he sounds, how wrong he is, or how he is stating something we just watched. Granted he’s getting better, but he must irritate you. Please reply to me via email.
Joe,
I live in Brazil now, which I can’t complain about but I miss Vancouver and can’t wait to get back there, so was really glad to read that you enjoyed BC and it seemed like you had good weather for the time of year you were there.
It was such a cool story Vancouver was fucking amazing that I blogged about it on http://www.reefersmoke.com
Hope I’m in town the next time you’re there.
Peace,
A