I spent most of the day today editing my Spike TV comedy special.
It’s always weird to go over my stuff because I’m ruthlessly self-critical, and after I’ve released something I’ve only got about a 6 month window where watching or listening to myself is even tolerable.
The other day I was in my car listening to Sirius satellite radio and one of my bits came on, and I had to change the channel for a few minutes until I knew it was over.
I literally couldn’t listen to it.
It was from my first CD 9 years ago, and when I listen to those old bits I hear all these things that just bug the shit out of me. It always feels like I’m using too many words, or explaining things too awkwardly, or the most disgusting transgression of all: faking energy and enthusiasm.
It just feels so douchey to listen to.
Stand up is this kind of a never ending pursuit where in order to do it right (for me at least) I get really hyper-analytical and critical about it, and because of that I’m never really satisfied with whatever I put together. I can have the best set of my life, and when I go over the recordings after the show I’ll find at least a dozen things that I feel I could do differently or better.
To put it together correctly just requires so much focus.
Sitting in the editing room today going over the set with a fine tooth comb, I almost have a sense of urgency to get it over with that borders on irritation. I just want to get it correct, and then get it out, and once it’s out, I don’t want to see it again, even if I thought it was great at the time I recorded it. I just want to get it off me.
I want to release it, and then get to work on the next shit.
One of my problems is that a bit never feels completely done to me. I rarely say a bit the exact same way every time, and because I’m always tweaking them and fucking around with them they’re constantly getting better.
My filming was just a couple weeks ago, and I’ve already got a bunch of new tag-lines for some jokes, and some better ways of setting up other ones. It really just never ends.
Another weird aspect of editing my stand up comedy is that it forces me to have a closer look at the surreal state of existence I currently enjoy.
I’m pretty used to my weird life, and I don’t think about it for the most part, I just live it, but when I’m forced to take a look at it closely it reveals to me how truly weird it is.
Just watching film of me going onstage to a standing ovation in Columbus was like someone gave me some sort of a weird, boundary dissolving drug.
Part of me just accepts it because that’s just what I do, and I’ve been doing it for over 50% of my life, but there’s another part me; that objective, questioning part that just looks at the whole thing and goes, “What the fuck? Is that you? What the fuck is that all about?”
Watching the set, critiquing the material and seeing the reactions to it forces me to look at myself in a way I rarely do, and it’s weird as fuck. My job today was to look at my work as a professional with passion for my chosen art form – and I certainly put that focus first and foremost – but there’s this other focus whispering questions in the background.
It has to be contained, or else it will consume my other thoughts and demand all of my focus. It has to be restrained and kept peripheral.
While the tape is running and I’m focusing on the task at hand I can keep it at bay, but in the down time in between edits it demands my attention like an impatient child.
It’s not just a “wow, is that really me?” feeling (which certainly is trippy) but rather a feeling of, “what the fuck is this all about?” Is this notion of performing stand up comedy actually a much, much weirder proposition than I’ve ever even considered?
I’m sitting here in this room full of electronics using technology I couldn’t even begin to explain to edit together a collection of my thoughts that I’ve carefully orchestrated specifically to make other people feel good.
That’s what stand up comedy really is; it’s the art of spreading a very concentrated form of positive energy.
Strange, strange shit indeed – but that’s what I do, and I fucking love it. I can’t wait to get this thing out to the people and release it like a runaway virus.
The night it comes out I’m going to be in my isolation tank while it’s airing because I want to see if I can feel the laughter from the great beyond.
I’m gonna be on KROQ 106.7 tomorrow morning in LA at 8am. You can listen live here: http://www.kroq-data.com/kevinandbean/index.asp
I love you bitches.
Way to go Joe! Keep up the good work.
Did you watch South Park by any chance last night?!? They burned Carlos Mencia sooooo hard.
It must be a great feeling to do what you love and I hope to follow in those footsteps too. You’re blogs are always worth the time for me. You can be sure that you’ve certainly changed one life (although I’m sure you’ve changed many others…feeling selfish at the moment)
It was such an awsome fucking show I cannot wait to see your final edit and the final piece. I am so honored I got to be a part of it. Cannot wait to see you again live.
I think the show will be awesome. My husband and I were there and loved it. It was our first comedy show and I swear it was freakin awesome… couldn’t have chosen a first comedy show to go to. Love ya man! Can’t wait to see you again…
Any chance you are coming to Orlando or Miami?!?! And yeah they ripped Carlos to shits last night.
Life is a “act” some people just get paid better for it than others.
Oh man, you have to let us know the results of the tank session after you get out.
I only read half of that cuz I havebrain fog. I think it was the second half. Also, what day is tomorrow? Is that Friday? Cuz yesterday you said tomorrow and you meant today which was yesterday. i think yoy might be getting your today’s and tomorrow’s all mixed up in one pot. AHAHAAh pot, get it? lol, love, Bongo (I have a cold. How are you? That’s nice.
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Good read. New fan here. I stumbled upon something interesting and akin to your view of humans and bacteria: http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/bonnie_bassler_on_how_bacteria_communicate.html
miketischer sweet link! pretty interesting stuff hey.. wonder if oneday it will help us to answer the ultimate question..why..i think the question tho is why not..
Joe hope traffic wasn’t too bad gettin into LA, and cheers for daily blogging!
miketischer–I saw that video too yesterday, and it blew my mind. Granted I had smoked a bit beforehand, but it was amazing to say the least. I find that every time I get high, I become super-analytical and notice that everything in this world we live in is connected, no matter how far and different they seem on the surface. I’d experience epiphany after epiphany and go, “So THAT’S WHY it’s like that!” It’s a trip (!), to say the least.
So when I watched that video, the epiphanies were about evolution and what we are today. I started thinking about how bacteria itself is more complicated than we will ever be. Bacteria is the end goal because it underwent so much evolution that it was able to find the perfect shield from environmental harm, through a huge community of trillions of cells that is the human body. We are bacteria’s meat shield.
Anyway, not sure where I was going with this, and words don’t really suffice to describe what goes through my head when I’m high, but I somehow feel that ideas and thoughts evolve so exponentially when you’re high compared to when you’re sober that the core of evolution comes from altered states, much like Terrence McKenna’s “Stoned Ape” Theory.
See you in Brea, Joe. CANNOT WAIT!! I burned a CD of your older stuff to make the drive more bearable, so hopefully you hold true to your word and deliver new material!
Can’t wait till it hits youtube so i can watch & laugh. I feel the same at one point every other day. I think the problem is our mind seeks perfection
through our actions but the reality is our physical body is imperfect as if our collective consciousness has evolved faster than our body has. Extreme
analytical personalities such as myself more often let their emotions confuse the organization of their thought process which forces us individuals to focus
intensely on a technical perception which benefits the mind in the long run.
Your opinions on things are important to me, keep up the good work.
Joe, do you have the same impulse to self-critique when watching yourself on IFC? Or is it only when watching your stand-up. I was watching your color commentary last night on Spike Tv and just thought I’d ask.
I think you’re awesome. Keep it up man
Natham