So here’s how it all went down…

I had a set at the comedy store Saturday night, and after I closed, I was bringing on the next comedian, a guy named Kirk Fox that works for Carlos Mencia.

I introduce him saying that he’s a funny guy, and that he opens on the road for Carlos “Menstealia.” That’s the name we call him at the comedy store, and of course Carlos doesn’t like it one bit.

Carlos was apparently in the room when I said this, and the perfect combination of ego and timing made him decide that this was the night to put his foot down.

As I got off stage and headed towards the back of the room, he grabbed the mike away from Kirk, and said that I was too much of a pussy to say that shit to his face.

Which to me, is something akin to the hottest girl in the world daring you to fuck her while you’re standing there in her bedroom naked with a boner.

Of course I had to disagree with him, and I decided to get onstage with him and have this “meeting of the minds” as it were.

On video, and for the whole world to see via the internet.

Shazam!

YouTube Video Link

Now, a lot of comics have had a problem with Carlos stealing material for a long time now, but for whatever reason, many of them don’t like to talk about it publicly, mostly because they’re afraid that people are going to think that they’re just jealous. That, and they’re worried about him using his power in “Hollywood” to have them black balled for talking badly about him. But in private, they talk about it. A LOT.

It’s a huge problem at the comedy store, to the point where some really good comics are refusing to go onstage if he’s there watching the show, and others have a signal system to alert the guy onstage that Carlos has walked into the room.

It’s really THAT BAD.

It’s like a dark cloud that hovers over the place when he’s performing there. He walks by and people literally stop their conversations and move away.

For whatever reason, the owner of the comedy store, Mitzi Shore, has always let him go up there, perhaps because he started there and the fact that she was actually the one to name himself Carlos Mencia instead of his actual name of Ned. Or, maybe she just wasn’t aware of how big of a problem it had become. Either way, it’s her club, and she’s done so much for comedy in general, and me in particular, that I would never question her about any of her decisions. In fact, I had never even talked to her personally about the problem until today.

Quite honestly, I’m happy to get this video and this blog out there, so that hopefully this can be the last time that I have talk about it.

Even I’m getting sick of me talking about it at this point.

To give you a little background, when I first moved to Hollywood way back in 1994 Carlos and I were actually friends.

We hung out together a bunch of times. Played pool together, went to the gym, hung out at the store, all kinds of shit. That’s also how I know that he’s really half German and Half Honduran and not Mexican. I know it, because he told me himself.

I thought that it was weird to use a fake name, but who gives a shit really. No big deal.

Other than that he seemed to be a cool guy.

Then I started to see it. Over and over again, I would see him do jokes that I knew I had heard before. Then I saw some real obvious shit. Some jokes that I knew were Paul Mooney’s, some that were right off a Richard Pryor album. I brought it up to him, and he gave me this half assed denial that I knew was a lie. That was the end of our friendship.

I didn’t hate the guy, but there was no way I could hang around with him knowing he’s a thief.

For someone who is not a comic, and doesn’t understand what the big deal is about comics stealing jokes, please let me try to explain it to you.

It’s hard to come up with material. It takes a lot of work, a lot of rewriting, sometimes an approach bombs and you have to rethink it, and often it’s a long process until you get to a finished product.

Now, occasionally a joke will come to you in full form, but for the most part it’s just an idea that can become a great bit with some work.

Now, when you work hard on a bit and polish and craft it, and then someone just disrespects the whole process, steps in, steals it and performs it as his own, that’s a pretty intense creative violation.

I’ve been in the back of a club while a guy was onstage doing one of my bits and believe me that’s a shitty fucking feeling. It’s like watching your girlfriend getting fucked onstage by a liar while the whole audience cheers.

What’s even worse, is if you’re a struggling comic, and the guy stealing your shit has his own show on comedy central.

Now, our little “beef” started out about a year and a half ago when Carlos was on the radio in Tucson, Arizona doing “the Frank show”, and he started talking shit about me, mainly telling a bunch of weird lies about a recent night where we had worked together back to back at the store. Unfortunately for him, the DJ sent me an mp3 of the discussion, and we actually had the evening he was referring to in his story on video, and we posted it up on the internet for all to see and laugh at. His version of the night was nothing more than a weird mix of lies and bragging, and it was pretty obvious to anyone seeing the video and listening to him on the radio that the guy is screwy. You can check it out here.

Ever since then, shit talking has been going on back and forth from both sides, and to be honest I’ve been baiting him into a “conversation” to expose him and end this all for a while now, I just never thought he would actually be dumb enough to want to do it in front of an audience, especially when he knew that we were filming it.

Ego is a motherfucker, I guess.

Either way, I’m glad we got this over with.

For the record, I don’t hate the guy. I never really did.

I hated what he was doing, but him as a person it’s really more like I felt pity for him.

The dude was living a gigantic lie, and no matter how fucked up and powerful your ego is, there’s got to be a part of the back of his brain that realizes what’s going on, and cringes at the reality. I think maybe it’s even his own subconscious knowing that he’s doing something wrong that forced him into this un-winnable battle.

I’m completely convinced that if I ever got that dude high he would curl up into the fetal position and cry for hours.

Either that, or launch himself off a cliff.

When all was said and done at the end of the night, especially after I saw the video, I actually felt sorry for him. I think there’s part of him that actually believes his own bullshit. I compared him to OJ in the video, in that they’ve both convinced themselves that they’re innocent, and really I think it’s a valid comparison.

Stand up comedy is an awesome, amazing way to make a living, and the comedy store is the greatest place to practice it in the known universe. It’s just a really fun place, and there’s a ton of funny comics that hang around there, and for the most part it’s a really positive environment.

We support each other, and we make each other laugh. We have fun together, except for this one little problem. Hopefully this video will help fix that, and make everything nice-nice again.

Enjoy

Google Video:

Joe Rogan VS Carlos Mencia ONSTAGE VIDEO.

Mirrors:

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=FX17EJDD

http://media.putfile.com/rogan-pwns-menica

So, I’ve been getting a ton of emails recently about this poker player named Daniel Negreanu talking shit about me on his blog. Now what this was all about, was we were both on the Opie and Anthony radio show when it was broadcasting from a poker tournament that Anthony was playing in.

I barely remember the conversation, because it was over 2 years ago, but what I do remember, was that the guy was very friendly on the show, but then afterwards he talked some shit about it online saying it was unorganized and a low rent version of the Howard Stern show.

So I check out his blog to see what the guy said about me, and I was really puzzled.

Here’s an audio file of the conversation: http://www.redban.com/audio/OAJR2.MP3

Here’s the link to his blog entry:

http://www.fullcontactpoker.com/poker-journal.php?subaction=showfull&id=1170089449

And just in case he decides to take it down or change it, and here’s the actual words from the blog:

“I’m home now, just chillin’, watching lots of television and being pretty unproductive overall. I’m totally fine with that, considering the January road trip that saw me go from the Bahamas to Australia, home for a day, then Mississippi, Atlantic City, and finally back home to Vegas. With two cashes adding up to just a little over half a million, I’d say that the trip was well worth it.

Anyway, I have no beef with the show. It doesn’t seem like my kind of humor at all, but to each his own. Having said that, I think this Joe Rogan guy has zero comedic talent whatsoever. If he can make it in showbiz, that is undeniable proof that ANYBODY has a chance.”

Now here’s where it got so confusing to me.

If you listened to that audio file you know what he described was nothing like the conversation we had.

When I left that conversation, what I got out of it was here was that I had met this interesting character that makes a living in a very daring way, and I respect that very much.

He decided to live his life playing cards professionally, and he’s been doing it since he was 18 years old.

I told him I thought about how cool that was, and then I asked him if there were professional poker groupies. Then he told us that he was recently split up with his ex, and I asked if he was scared of her getting with other guys. I said that’s what I’m always afraid of, is breaking up with a girl and her getting gorilla fucked by some new dude.

Daniel laughed HARD.

Then he said he wasn’t concerned, and I said that’s what I always think of, and then I went in depth about how I always picture some dude fucking the shit out of her. He suggested that I read a book that addresses that, and I said it’s just natural chimpanzee instincts. He still said he doesn’t think about it, and then I described a graphic scenario and asked him if it would bother him, and he still said no, and then I said “It bothers me, and I don’t even know you.” Opie then added in, “and one more thing, the guy was black.”

We then thanked him for coming on the show, and I congratulated him for having the balls to pursue such a cool job. He said thanks, and that he really appreciated it and then he shook my hand. Never once seemed upset with me.

Now, I have no idea WHAT THE FUCK went on in his head between the time he left the show, and how he ran the conversation back in his mind, but I think he should listen to the audio of the conversation, and then go straight to a therapist.

If he’s distorting events of the past like this on a regular basis, I’ve got to think that there’s something seriously wrong with the wiring in his brain.

Daniel, I know you’re reading this, so I want you to know, I’m not mad at you.

Not even a little. I think we’ve all had moments in our life where our ego twisted reality into a distorted perception of the truth. I’m sure that you were hyper sensitive to what I said because you had just recently broken up with your ex, and although you were trying to say that the scenarios I was describing weren’t bothering you, they were, A LOT.

And that’s totally understandable. I think you obviously twisted the events in your mind into some attack on you, and it absolutely wasn’t. I think if you listen to the audio, you’ll see that I was being very complimentary of you, and that I really respected what you do for a living. I still do. I didn’t want to piss you off when I said those things, I was just being honest with the way I think. It wasn’t my intention to upset you, and I really didn’t want it to happen. I talk openly and honestly to my friends, and if I’m having a cool conversation with someone like we were having with you, I talk to them the way that I talk to my friends. Now, I often forget that some people consider the way I think to be crude or outrageous, but it’s really just the way I think. I’m just really honest about it.

Your perception of what happened is completely off. I wasn’t cracking jokes, I was just talking to you like a friend.

I could use this blog entry to insult you, but really, what’s the point? I’ve got plenty of negative bullshit in my life, and I’m sure you do too.

And really, all I wanted to do was clear the air.

I’m going to post this, and then I’m going to erase all this negative shit from my mind, and I’m going to look at you the way I looked at you when we were having that conversation: as a person that’s doing a cool fucking thing, playing cards for a living. I’m gonna look at you as a person who had the balls to try to make a living in a very risky and unconventional way. I still respect that very much.

I’m totally serious about holding no grudge, and if we run into each other, I would be happy to shake your hand and bury the whole thing.

Or, I might hold you down and slap you in the face with my cock, depending of course on how my ego twists my memory of my reaction to your blog entry saying I suck.

Kidding!!

Kisses!!!

Joe

UPDATE: Daniel read my post, listened to the audio clip, and wrote an apology. See, I knew he was cool!